6 Lessons Learned As "The Single Friend/Woman"

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

I'm a not a single friend, I'm THE Single Friend. I've been single for a very, very long time. When I was younger, I used to see being single as a weakness; I mean, every woman is continuously being courted, right? Wrong, very wrong. It took me a while to see the errors in my thinking, but eventually I got over myself and realized that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. But unfortunately, sometimes society and our environment puts pressure on us to believe that we all need a man for every waking moment of our lives, and that stigma can be hard to combat. As Chairman of the Forever Alone Club, here's a couple of gems that I've picked up through my journey as a single woman.

1. Stop Letting Everyone Diagnose You. Just because your college roommate that slept with the entire basketball team finally got a man, does not mean that she holds the key to solving your case of single. It's okay to take trusted opinions into consideration, but don't let others' opinions of you consume your life! No matter how much these people care and "only want the best for you", it's okay to decline an unwarranted opinion.

What It's Like to Be 24, Fabulous and Unemployed.

Hello. My name is Amber (Amberella to some), I'm 24 years old, and tomorrow it'll be two months since I had a job. Had, as in, I'm unemployed.

Let's go back to last summer, shall we? Girl has a job in her field of study that she's not particularly happy with. Girl gets fed up, takes out a $5,000 personal loan from her bank and decides to move to New York and live a Carrie Bradshaw-esque life. By the grace of God, girl lands a job as a Junior Account Executive for an intimate apparel company in Herald Square, and moves into a Brooklyn apartment.

November 22nd I got called into my boss' office. While making little to no eye contact, the VP of the company tells me that funds are down, cuts have to be made, and I had to go. I signed some paperwork, packed my belongings into a large H&M bag filled with some clothes I had purchased on my lunch break and left. And then I hopped on the M train, placed my head on top of my packed up office supplies, and cried the entire ride back to Brooklyn.

A Date With the Beyhive

To celebrate moving out of the DC Metro area to NY, my best friend and I went to see King Bey at the Verizon Center, and when I tell you that show was amazing...

Tunic- H&M, Belt/Necklace- Asos, Wedges-Target, Bag- Marc by Marc Jacobs 

The bestie and I!

Strutting past me.

Definitely a night to remember. 

xoxoBer

2012: A Year in Outfits

I wore this gold chain from Urban Outfitters outttttt. Lol I don't even know if I can bring that into 2013.

Greetings loves!

Last New Year's Eve, I spent the evening passed out on my parent's couch with some takeout and a bottle of wine. I didn't expect much to come from this year, but as 2012 comes to a close I must say, it was a pretty good year. And as I always strive to do better for myself every year, my sense of style continues to evolve and get better with age! Let's look back on some of my fashion choices from this year...

Close, but not quite.

Remember how I said I was moving to New York?

Well, I didn't make it.

However....

Fall 2012 Trend Alert: Two Toned Oxfords

Menswear is a staple fall trend, the same way florals is to Spring. Well this Fall, this trend is getting a fresh kick with two-toned oxfords! Oxfords, which have become popular within the last couple of years, are being paired with neon toned soles. To style this trend, I paired it with a feminine look contrast the masculinity of the shoe. Enjoy!

xoxoBer

Naughty Nautical OOTN

The Scariest Decision I've Ever Made...Leaving.

I've had enough. I've done all I could, there's nothing left...So I'm packing all my things and moving to NYC!

Now before you start sending congratulatory tweets (ahem, @urban_socialite), I'm not leaving just yet! I'm moving around late December/ early January, because I have to get my funds together and secure a job first. But I'm proud of myself for even claiming this move, and I'll tell you why.

Make it Work: The Colored Skinny Jean

Now I'm not a huge fan of colored pant fan (they bring more attention to my bottom half than I'd like), but I will acknowledge the fact I've seen many people pull the look off! Dying to add some color to you bottom wardrobe this Spring, without looking like you're on your way to Justin Bieber concert? I highly suggest pairing the pants with a neutral top, like the image below

Topshop polyester shirt
$64 - topshop.com


Topshop skinny leg jeans
$80 - topshop.com


Wet Seal floral heels
$35 - wetseal.com


Oasis vintage style handbag
$36 - oasis-stores.com


Chanel black earrings
malleries.com

The Problem With Plus Sized Fashion

Would YOU wear this?

It's not hard to tell that I love fashion. I majored in fashion merchandising in college so that I could one day work in fashion, I read sites like Business of Fashion and Fashionista to get my fashion news fix, and I shop excessively, looking for pieces that I can add to expanding wardrobe. And to piggyback off of that last statement, my options are making me sick.

"You work, where?"...The Post-Grad Struggle

Don't believe the hype.

I sashayed across the stage and shook my department chair's hand on May 20, 2011, and on December 11, 2011, I took my last undergrad exam (long story short- I got screwed over and ended up taking an extra class).  The week leading up to graduation, I remember hearing Marvin Sapp's "Never Would Have Made It" and bursting into tears, reflecting on the woman I've transitioned into these past 4 years. I started college as a socially awkward and naive 17 year old that only wore flip flops and Air Forces and emerged as a confident, self sufficient, and socially aware 21 year old (with a much better wardrobe, I might add). I cried because one chapter of my life had ended, another would soon begin; one that included a salaried job, a new car and a place of my own.

Or I so thought.

Single Black female, in search of...

Why am I single?


That's a question I've asked myself more times than I'd care to remember. My relationship status is something that has given me a sense of empowerment while making me feel lonely and insecure at the same time. I've learned to be completely self-sufficient and independent, but every time I like a guy and he doesn't offer me that courtship, I start to second guess myself.

What did I do wrong? Is it because I weigh more than 200 lbs? Is it my natural hair? Did I give it up too soon? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? 


I can honestly say that I have been single for 99.9% of my life. I was asked out my freshman year of high school, and it lasted for a week (he kissed another girl, and I wasn't playin that shit). Since then, I've lead myself into a downward spiral of men that have used me by giving me a false sense of entitlement in order to obtain whatever they wanted from me (I don't have to tell you what that mostly consisted of). Basically, I've sold myself short...instead letting these men see me for the bright, funny and ambitious person I am, I turned myself into nothing more but a vagina with money and a set of car keys. Notice the main focus of this post is I, because I had the power to stop this, but I was too naive to realize my own strength, until now.

I am no longer that person. I know what am I capable of and what I deserve. Until I get it, I'll continue to accept that dreaded "s" word, and work through my issues with the opposite. And I hope my fellow single women will do the same. You are as beautiful, smart and deserving as you think you are; don't ever let anyone tell you different.

xoxoAmber

NYFW Betsey Johnson Spring '12

Up until this point, I've been selecting one look from several fashion shows and categorizing them by the show date, but after I saw this show I had to stop: I couldn't simply pick one look! I'm a huge fan of Betsey Johnson; I love her carefree spirit, the way she incorporates music and vintage themes into her collections, and the fact she's a 69 year old woman still running her brand! This new collection has to be one of my favorites; it screams "Parisian sexy" while still giving off her trademark punk rock feel. Take a look for yourself

My Picks: Spring '12 New York Fashion Week, Day Four

Victoria Beckham

Derek Lam

Tracy Reese

My Picks: Spring '12 New York Fashion Week, Day Three

Monique Lhuillier

Duro Olowu

Vivienne Tam

My Picks: Spring '12 New York Fashion Week, Day Two

Jason Wu (love the red lips btw)

Nicole Miller

Cynthia Rowley

Fashionspiration: Polka Dots

My Picks: Spring '12 New York Fashion Week, Day One

Greetings my loves! As many of my fellow fashionistas know, today is the start of New York Fashion Week! As a college freshman, I often dreamed of being front row at a Marc Jacobs or Betsey Johnson show, and now that I'm a disgruntled (soon to be) college graduate that has recently moved back into my parents' home, my dream of being there feels farther away than ever. Despite my pessimistic attitude (that's a whole 'nother blog post!), I'm still ooooohing and awwwwing other today's shows. Here's my top pics...

Rachel Comey

BCBG Max Azria

Richard Chai LOVE

Cushnie et Ochs

Vena Cava

Sachin + Babi

Thoughts? xoxoAmber

Happy Birthday to Me!

 

 

Vibe Vixen is BACK!

Yes ladies, you heard right. Vibe Magazine's female counterpart is making a return with the premiere of their first digital issue on September 1st! While I'm not a huge fan of digital magazines, I'm a huge fan of Vibe Vixen and I will be reading this! Check out LaLa gracing the cover

xoxo, Ber