Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Scariest Decision I've Ever Made...Leaving.

I've had enough. I've done all I could, there's nothing left...So I'm packing all my things and moving to NYC!

Now before you start sending congratulatory tweets (ahem, @urban_socialite), I'm not leaving just yet! I'm moving around late December/ early January, because I have to get my funds together and secure a job first. But I'm proud of myself for even claiming this move, and I'll tell you why.

I've always wanted to move to New York, for as long as I remembered. But instead of living out my dreams, I let fear and other things/people stand in the way of this move.

Fail 1: When I was in high school, I wanted to be the next Betsey Johnson, so I looked into applying to top fashion design programs at FIT and Pratt. Before I could even start the paperwork, I let the costs of moving to the big city and the distance between Manhattan and my homebase in Virginia scare me away. So instead I settled for a design program at university in North Carolina where I could be close to my high school sweetheart (smacks self) and relatively close to my family. Which of course didn't work out and I ended up transferring schools anyway.

Fail 2: Junior Year. Intern season is the perfect chance for a fashion merchandising student like myself to land an internship in Manhattan in order to get better acquainted with the city and do some crucial networking, right? Wrong. I started dating a guy I went to high school with right as the semester was ending, and put interning on the back burner so I could come home and cupcake with him. Long story short, I ended up working a crappy job at a department store back at school, and we ended up breaking up on my August birthday, right as the fall semester was starting, which brings me to...

Fail 3: Senior Year. The second most crucial time in your college career (note: freshman year is most important, because you have to lay a strong foundation for success, but I digress). Fresh off this devastating romance, I decided that I needed to escape this place and live out my Black Carrie Bradshaw/ Miranda Priestly fantasy and head to NY after graduation. So I start looking at apartments on Craigslist, and researching companies that I could send my resume to when the time is right. Well, senioritis sets in, along with my fear of leaving behind my family and friends, and I decided that once my lease was up in August that I should just move back home and "go from there". Huge mistake.

Fail 4: Once the summer starts, I start spending all of my time with my friends. And before I can even move my belongings back home and meet a guy. I become completely blinded by my vision for us to be together and all the good times I was having with my friends and completely give up on my dream of going to NY. I decided that I would be just as happy working as a buyer for a retail company here, and decided to start working on my career path here instead. After being told "No" by several companies to due to the influx of recent grads and lack of entry level opportunities in my area, I end up working as an entry level sales associate for a retail chain. Oh, and that romance I mentioned earlier? Goes sour, so I'm left with (close to) no money, and no man. Le sigh.

The past year I've spent at home has been extremely painful, but a huge eye opener as well. I've had some tremendous successes these past couple of years, but in order to continue to being successful I have to stop letting things, and people, including myself, stand in the way of my destiny. I identified my weaknesses, and I'm working on them so that I can prepare myself for the next chapter of life. You have to go through bad experiences because sometimes hands-on learning works best. I've made some huge mistakes, but without them I'd still be that naive 17 year old girl, afraid to step out on my own and take risks. If you're holding onto fears, let them go! Imagine the life you would lead without any fear.


My first taste of New York two years ago. Can't wait to be back!

No comments: